Isolation
"I guess the isolation is the worst thing really. Just feeling like no-one really understands. Friends tried to help, but that dropped off over time and unless they’ve lived through it, they don’t really know how bad it can get."
Feeling isolated
Many carers feel isolated during their journey as a carer. You may feel cut off from your community, friends and other support networks.
Family and friends could withdraw and you could feel as though you have lost your social contacts. You may be unable to work because of your caring commitments, meaning that you don’t have the regular interaction with colleagues that you used to.
Perhaps you have had to give up your hobbies, or you aren’t able to spend as much time doing them, so you don’t see your friends as often as before.
Carers are more likely than the general population to have little face-to-face contact with friends or relatives outside the household, especially when caring for someone with high level care needs.
Isolation is reported to be felt particularly strongly by certain groups of the community. For young carers, for example, caring responsibilities at home prevent them from having the same kinds of social networks as their peers. They may not be able to spend as much time with friends, or to stay out overnight, because they may fear leaving the patient at home.
Carers in rural and regional areas may also feel particularly isolated because of a lack of access to services or support groups. Online support groups may be particularly useful for people in these areas.
Caring often creates an enormous financial burden, which can contribute to isolation. Financial strain may prevent carers from having access to a car to visit friends or from having money to spend on leisure activities. Financial assistance may be available to support you in your caring role.
Support groups
Even if you have contact with friends and family, you might feel like you are unable to explain to them what you are going through, and this makes you feel isolated too. It might help to join a support group, whether face-to-face, by telephone or online, where you can talk to other carers who are facing similar challenges.
Research suggests that people who join a support group feel:
- A sense of belonging and community
- As though they are not alone
- Accepted and supported
- Empathy
- Understood
- As though they are being cared for
- Safe to express their feelings and fears
- Empowered in their caring role
The Cancer Council NSW has a range of support groups:
Face-to-face support groups
These groups function in a variety of settings and areas. To make an enquiry or find your nearest support group call the Cancer Council Helpline on 13 11 20 or visit www.cancercouncil.com. Your GP or social worker might also know of a support group in your local area.
Telephone support groups
In these groups, meetings take place via the phone. To make an enquiry or join, call the Cancer Council Helpline on 13 11 20 or contact the coordinator on (02) 9334 1755 or tgc@nswcc.org.au.
Online carers support groups
Groups are available to join on this website. Simply create a profile, and then search the groups page for groups you might be interested in.
Other ways to deal with isolation:
- Accept offers of help
- Develop telephone buddies
- Arrange for visitors to come to your house
- Get out of the house for a short time each day and do something for yourself
